Editor's Desk
There is a conversation that refuses to go away: should bonnets and durags be worn in public?
Some people see absolutely nothing wrong with it. Others believe bonnets, durags and pajamas belong inside the home, especially when someone is attending school, travelling through an airport, going shopping or entering another public setting.
Comedian Mo’Nique helped bring the discussion to the forefront when she publicly encouraged Black women to reconsider wearing bonnets, slippers and sleepwear in airports and other public places. Her message sparked a much larger debate about appearance, respectability, self-expression and who has the authority to decide what “presentable” looks like.
“My issue is not whether someone has the right to wear a bonnet in public. Of course they do. My question is whether everything we have the right to do should automatically become the standard.”
I Wouldn’t Wear One in Public
Personally, I would not wear a bonnet in public.
I might briefly walk outside wearing one to throw out the garbage, although I rarely even do that. In my mind, a bonnet is something I wear at home. It protects my hair while I sleep, relax or prepare to get dressed. Once I am leaving the house, the bonnet comes off.
I feel similarly about durags. I have scolded my son more than once when he has attempted to walk out of the door wearing one. I will quickly tell him, “Take off that durag.”
To me, a durag is essentially a headscarf used to maintain a hairstyle. I understand that durags have also become a fashion statement, particularly among younger men. They are worn with coordinated outfits, jewellery, sneakers and streetwear. But no matter how fashionable the rest of the outfit may be, I still associate the durag with hair maintenance and nighttime preparation.
Maybe that is simply my preference. Maybe it is the generation I come from. But I still believe there is a difference between what we wear around the house and how we present ourselves when we step outside.
Is It About Self-Respect or Respectability Politics?
This is where the discussion becomes complicated.
Many people agreed with Mo’Nique because they believed she was encouraging women to take pride in how they present themselves. They interpreted her message as one of care, discipline and maintaining standards.
Others felt her comments were unnecessarily judgmental. They argued that Black women already face intense scrutiny over their hair, clothing, bodies and appearance. From that perspective, telling women to remove their bonnets can sound like another form of respectability politics—the idea that Black people must present themselves in a particular way to gain acceptance or respect.
I understand why that argument exists. Black hair requires care, protection and maintenance. Bonnets and durags serve a genuine purpose. There is nothing shameful about protecting your hair, nor should anyone be treated poorly because they choose comfort.
However, I also do not believe every discussion about presentation should automatically be dismissed as policing Black people.
We all make decisions about what is suitable for different environments. We generally understand that what we wear to bed may not be what we wear to a wedding, workplace, funeral, business meeting or formal dinner. That does not mean the clothing we wear at home is shameful. It simply means different spaces traditionally call for different standards.
Are we unfairly judging people based on appearance, or are we gradually losing the distinction between being dressed for home and being dressed for public life?
Gen Z Has Redefined What It Means to Be Dressed
Younger generations have created their own rules surrounding fashion. Pajama pants, slippers, Crocs, oversized hoodies, bonnets, durags and clothing that older generations might classify as “house clothes” are now regularly worn to school, stores, restaurants and airports.
Part of it may be comfort. Part of it may be convenience. Social media has also played a role by making casual, unfiltered and “just rolled out of bed” appearances seem normal and even fashionable.
But I also believe there is a rebellious element to it.
Gen Z does not like being told that something must be done simply because previous generations did it that way. They question traditional workplace rules, gender expectations, beauty standards and dress codes. Their attitude is often: “Why should I change what I am wearing merely to make someone else comfortable?”
In some ways, challenging outdated standards is necessary. Not every tradition deserves to survive simply because it is old. However, I also wonder whether rejecting every standard has become a standard of its own.
“Sometimes going against the grain is an expression of individuality. Other times, it may simply be resistance to being told that every environment does not revolve around our personal comfort.”
Presentation Still Communicates Something
People often say we should not judge a book by its cover, and morally, that is true. Someone’s clothing does not tell us everything about their intelligence, finances, parenting, education or character.
But appearance does communicate something, even when we wish it did not.
The way we dress can communicate that we are working, relaxing, exercising, attending a formal occasion or preparing for bed. It can show respect for an environment, indicate membership in a group or simply reflect how much effort we felt like making that day.
That does not mean someone must wear expensive clothing or dress formally to run a simple errand. Presentability is not about designer labels, makeup, straightened hair or impressing strangers. A person can look presentable in a clean T-shirt, jeans, sneakers and natural hair.
For me, it is about appearing as though I have completed the transition from being at home to being out in public.
Men in Bonnets Have Added Another Layer
The conversation has also changed because bonnets are no longer being worn publicly only by women. More young men are wearing bonnets as part of their everyday appearance, sometimes because they have braids, locs, curls or another hairstyle they want to protect.
Hair protection is not exclusively a women’s issue, so it makes sense that men would use the same products. Still, seeing men publicly wearing bonnets feels noticeably different because it was far less common in previous generations.
Once again, the bonnet has moved from being a private hair-care item to becoming an increasingly visible accessory. Whether that represents cultural freedom, changing fashion or simply a decline in public decorum depends largely on who is answering the question.
Where Do You Draw the Line?
Is a bonnet different from wearing a baseball cap, scarf or hoodie?
Is a durag still primarily a hair-care item, or has it fully become fashion?
Are pajamas appropriate for school or air travel simply because they are comfortable?
And should society maintain any shared standard of public dress, or should every person decide entirely for themselves?
Not Everything Has to Leave the House
I do not believe a person wearing a bonnet, durag or pajama pants in public is automatically lazy, unintelligent or lacking in self-respect. Clothing alone cannot tell me everything I need to know about someone.
But personally, I still believe there should be a difference between what we wear at home and what we wear when we step into public spaces.
A bonnet protects my hair while I sleep. A durag helps maintain a hairstyle. Pajamas are what I relax in. None of those things are shameful, but I do not believe everything used inside the home must become an outfit for the airport, classroom or grocery store.
Perhaps that makes me traditional. Perhaps younger generations see getting dressed as an outdated performance they no longer feel obligated to participate in. I can respect their right to redefine fashion while still maintaining my own standard.
We do not need designer clothes, perfect hair or a full face of makeup every time we leave the house. But I still believe there is value in taking a moment to prepare yourself for the world outside your front door.
Because comfort matters—but so does presentation.
Just a penny for my thoughts…
City Chic Island Kick
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